


First Loves?

by Stellasilver



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, But at the end hopefully it won't be so ooc, Character Development, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, So sometimes they may be ooc, TW: Homophobia, TW: Mentions of abuse, TW: negligent parents, a little bit at least, tw: bruises
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-14 02:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15378987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stellasilver/pseuds/Stellasilver
Summary: Bang (Christopher) Chan, a Freshman starting school with only 14 years of age is met with the strange and complicated subject of love. Romantic love. That love that makes you feel all giggly, tipsy, that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you clumsy whenever you’re near that special person. What he doesn't know is that sooner or later he'll be met with various special people. All of which will change his life in one way or another.





	1. First Crush

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the first fic I write but it's definitely the first mulit-chaptered one I post and the first one I post on here, in no way am I really good at writing so I hope this doesn't suck too much ><
> 
> Trigger Warning: Homophobia
> 
> (I'll be writing in the notes the trigger warnings for each chapter even if it's already specified in the tags just in case ^^ If in any moment I miss any do tell me, thanks!)

     Bang (Christopher) Chan, a Freshman starting school with only 14 years of age is met with the strange and complicated subject of love. Romantic love. That love that makes you feel all giggly, tipsy, that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you clumsy whenever you’re near that special person. At the time Chan was still a completely pure person who didn’t think there was anything weird with falling in love in general, much less with any level of detail to why you couldn’t fall in love with certain people and much less there being a bigger number than two related to the same romantic love. 

 

     Chan is very much a sap, watching romantic movies with his mother and crying over unrequited loves, so for him love is such a beautiful thing that just thinking about falling in love makes him, well, fall in love with love. Viva la redundancy.

 

     So when Chan sees this boy, a year over him with his soft black hair and dark, stern looking eyes contrasting with his soft gaze and smile, for some reason reminding Chan of a teddy bear, and just the way he greeted him, Chan hadn’t just fallen in love, oh boy, to him he had met his soulmate.

 

     And if it isn’t the case Chan would be crying for the rest of his life but he’d just have to wait and see what happens. Chan doesn’t think forcing things would work and he’s much too shy to say anything. They also just met so it’d be weird to just blurt out ‘hey, I think I’ve just fallen in love with you, are we soulmates?’

 

     So this boy, Woojin, greets him in the kindliest way possible and his voice is so nice, so warm that Chan feels enveloped by a blanket for a second - despite it being summer, it feels good. The next moment Woojin is helping him get around the school, get his timetable and find his classes. The Sophomore is so extremely welcoming that Chan is surprised having heard all kinds of tales of people being pranked by older students when they just entered high school.

 

*

 

     Months pass by and they grow closer as friends, knowing almost everything of each other and hanging out as much as possible. Each time Woojin gets closer to Chan the younger grows more nervous, starts to stutter and his face becomes as red as a tomato. Despite all the symptoms the older seems oblivious.

 

     Chan talks to his mother about him since the first day and his mother caught his son’s crush early on, teasing him about it to no end and even giving him courage to confess to no avail.

 

     At least till one day.

 

*

 

     It’s Spring, Chan is now 15 and Woojin’s birthday is in a few days, the older boy turning 16. The first days of flowers blooming and nice weather lets them hang out in a park meeting halfway their houses. There they spend most of the time chatting. Chan loves it there, not just because he’s with his crush which by the way the intensity of his love hasn’t gone down whatsoever, but because there’s a vast diversity of flowers and if there’s something that Chan loves a lot other than Woojin - and his mother of course - are flowers.

 

     Usually Chan feels comfortable and safe with Woojin, only feeling excitement as the time for their meeting nears. It’s not that this time he doesn’t feel comfortable or safe but the nervousness, the knot on his stomach and the nausea definitely aren’t a cool thing to feel at such a time.

 

     Chan has been planning for this day, to confess but now that he’s here, with Woojin, and he’s about to do it, he thinks about not doing it at all. Call him a coward all you want, he’d agree he’s terrified and would rather ran away at that moment and later make up an excuse than to confess to his crush of an-almost-year. Nevertheless he takes all the courage he has at that moment and turns his whole body to Woojin, said male takes notice and looks at him with curiosity, then at seeing his furrowed eyebrows he smiles to try and calm the boy down. Though it only makes Chan more nervous.

 

     “H-Hey… There’s something I wanted to tell you…” He starts “You see… For the longest time now I… I-I’ve kinda… you know had a crush on you.” Chan slurs and quickens his pace when ending the sentence, shortening the syllables and mushing the words together. Woojin raises his eyebrows, smile fading and Chan fears the worst.

 

     “Okay.” Is all Woojin says and it leaves Chan more disappointed than anything. If his worst fear was rejection even hatred then, what is this?

 

     “Oh.” Is all that leaves Chan’s mouth as he looks down, feeling bad and wanting to go home. He turns and starts walking home, hoping that Woojin runs up to him and says something more, hopefully something positive, or that before he starts walking away he grabs his arm and kisses him to return his love back. But neither thing happens and Chan arrives home, locking himself in his room, leaving her mother hanging at the entrance, worried.

 

*

 

     A few weeks pass and they drift apart ever so slightly. Chan’s stomach turning every day more and more. Woojin seems off, not smiling as much, not talking to many people and not even paying attention to his surroundings. Chan feels guilty, thinks that he’s done something wrong, that he’s turned his life upside down and now he’s ruined his life forever.

 

*

 

     Chan receives a note, it’s in his locker, and when he opens it he easily recognizes the writing - it’s also signed so there’s no doubt it’s Woojin who wrote it. The note says to meet at the park and the time when to. Chan feels fear slowly creep into his veins, chills going down his spine and his mind only helps make it more intense with scenarios with negative outcomes.

 

     Nevertheless, that same day at the time stamp on the note Chan is at the park, and he sees Woojin at the spot they used to meet everyday. Chan nears him cautiously, Woojin turns to him and it’s as if air catches in the younger boy’s throat. Woojin walks over to him confidently and blurts out.

 

     “I love you.”

 

     This leaves Chan dizzy, he can’t believe what he has heard, he ponders if it’s all a dream, but he also can’t understand the sudden confession.

 

     “I know when you confessed to me, well… I didn’t act accordingly and then we drifted apart and we stopped talking and honestly I wasn’t sure what I was doing except I know it was bad because I probably hurt you and… I just didn’t know what to do… Nobody ever confessed to me and I fell in love with you and… I just…” Woojin couldn’t stop blabbering on and on, his cheeks turning pink and at each word Chan just fell more and more in love, his heart filling up with that love to the point he thought he’d explode if he didn’t output it, and slowly as the older male explained the situation he grew confident, he stepped closer to Woojin making him stutter and then kissed him, stopping him from rambling.

 

     It was a short peck, their first kiss, but it was sweet nonetheless, and afterwards they just stared at each other lovingly for the rest of the evening.

 

*

 

     “So… I didn’t turn your world upside down? I didn’t ruin your life?”

 

     “Nah. I mean you did turn it upside down but in a good way.”


	2. Second Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homphobia, Internalized homophobia

 

     Woojin and Chan’s first date was at a skating rink. Woojin had gone there plenty of times since he was young but it was Chan’s first time skating. The older comforted him, saying he’d teach him. First with wobbly legs Chan grips the rail as if it’s his life line and Woojin laughs, taking tiny steps around the perimeter of the rink. Woojin offers his hand and Chan takes them in politeness but immediately he takes back his hands and grips the rail again, knuckles turning white.

 

     “It’s okay just trust me.” The elder offers with a sweet smile. 

 

     And so Chan does that. He trusts Woojin and learns to skate. Slowly but surely. Wooji is an amazing teacher though the younger male still falls a few times on his rear, bringing laughter to both. A month later though, in one of their many dates to the rink, Chan already knows how to maneuver around in skates.

 

     The two go around the perimeter a couple of times before stopping and leaving to chat a little and then back again to the rink, all the while holding hands. This is their routine every date there.

 

     Their other dates are spent at the park where they walk around swinging their hands and stopping to peck the other’s cheek. No more kissing on the lips since their first time, too afraid and shy to do so.

 

*

 

     One fine day at school they’re talking before leaving.

 

     “I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to the park today, I’ve got lost of studying to go, I have an exam in a couple of days.” Says Chan worried.

 

     “Hey, don’t worry, I’ve got studying to do too but I was going to put it aside if you felt like hanging out.” The oldest of the two wraps around an arm around the youngest and pulls him in, kissing his head.

 

     “You shouldn’t do that though, you gotta study first, we can date later.” Chan pouts and Woojin coos at him making the other pout even more. “Hey… since we’re not gonna see each other till tomorrow and who knows if we’ll be able to have a date then, can we… can we kiss?” Chan plays with the hem of his shirt and chews his lower lip. Woojin places a hand below his chin and lifts his face up, looking at him with adoration.

 

     “Of course, my love.” The words make Chan blush.

 

     Both lean in, the space between their lips thinning more and more but before they meet a can is thrown at Chan’s head.

 

     “Gays! Get outta here!” A boy yells out.

 

     “Eeeeewwwww, did you see that? They were about to kiss!” Another one mimics puking.

 

     “Gross.” A third one remarks coldly.

 

     Woojins’ eyebrows furrow and he tenses, Chan looks to the ground, tears brimming his eyes. He doesn’t like this kind of behaviour, he doesn’t understand it, he’s so furious he’s going to explode.

 

     “Ignore them, let’s go.” Woojin wraps around an arm and pushes him away from school and towards their path to the park. “It’s okay.” He keeps whispering but Chan still is trembling with anger.

 

     “Yeah go you gays! Go sin somewhere else!” One of the boys from before exclaims and Chan can’t hold it anymore.

 

     “What is wrong with you? What is so horrible from two people loving each other?” He shouts “What does gay even mean? You’re just making up words ‘cause you’re jealous! There’s nothing disgusting here except you!”

 

     Chan is very brave at doing that, his words would be encouraging, intimidating if it wasn’t because the other boys are taller, stronger and because they’re laughing. He hears Woojin beside him sigh as he grabs his arm and pulls him away. ‘Chan let’s go’ It’s barely a whisper but the younger can hear it.

 

     “No hold on! You don’t know what gay means?” One barks.

 

     “What an idiot. It means someone who’s with someone of the same gender and that’s disgusting!” Another swears. Everyone around laughs, having stopped due to Chan’s outbreak. Then they start booing him. Tears now flooding his face. This time Woojin pulls him harder, using his full strength to drive him away from the school and the people surrounding them. That doesn’t mean that Chan doesn’t hear the last insult.

 

     “Look at how Woojin manhandles the boy, he’s surely the man of the relationship.”

 

*

 

     Woojin gets them to the park and there things go downhill. The eldest face is dark and his eyes soulless. The both of them are still panting from having run. Chan still feels tears coming down his cheeks and he doesn’t think he would’ve survived that if it wasn’t for his partner. He has a lot to thank him for and he just wants to be safe in his arms for a while even if it means coming home late and missing out on hours to study, to feel better and not as sad, though he doubts he could feel worse.. The younger turns to Woojin and opens up his arms waiting for the other to embrace him and kiss his head. Instead he’s met with a cold gaze as Woojin looks at him. Frown painted over his lips and pose tense. He stands from being bent over and suddenly Chan feels impossibly small.

 

     “I’m sorry but I think we should stop talking.” Woojin says and leaves. Leaving Chan behind with more tears in his eyes.

 

     Now Chan realizes he definitely can feel worse.

 

*

 

     Summer comes and with it holidays. During the rest of the school days Woojin wouldn’t even look at him. Chan tried to talk but was ignored completely and then laughed at by other students around him. This made Chan fall deeper and deeper into sadness. It made him stop caring about school, about homework, about exams even about his mother who definitely was wrecked when his child stopped being the sweet boy he was and wouldn’t even say good morning to her. The son that stopped hanging out and watching movies with her and locked himself in his room.

 

     “But you love those movies.” She would say on the other side of the door.

 

     “Men don’t watch those things. They’re gross.” Chan would bite back, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as his mother wouldn’t understand why he was saying such things.

 

*

 

     So yeah summer was in town, and you could definitely feel it through the warm warm air. Despite his protest Chan’s mother forced him out of his room and out of their house in a last attempt to recover his son, as a parent should do, enforcing her mother’s status. Them both went around town, going to parks, malls and grocery shopping. All the while, the things Chan used to have interest in he ignored, the talks they used to have were replaced with silence and when forced upon traditionally feminine things Chan would imitate vomiting. His attitude was the complete opposite of how he used to be, and through her mother instinct - and logic - she knew why.

 

     Despite this, she could do nothing as she didn’t know Woojin’s mother nor did she think she had a place to do anything. They were old enough - her baby Chan, that was not so baby anymore, was old enough - to learn to deal with these kinds of things.

 

     Chan kept up the attitude. At least during half the summer.

 

     It was one fateful day when strolling through the mall that he met another boy. His mother had been at a clothing store and Chan wasn’t happy going in, so he just walked inside the mall waiting for his mother to give him a call when she was done. He was just passing by a music store - one of his interests - when he saw the boy, he was beautiful, with his long eyelashes and luscious hair. Chan felt his heart skip a beat, anger shot up through him and immediately turned away. But against his own will the boy approached him and tapped his shoulder. Chan turned around only to see the young male very up close. Taking a step back the other chuckled and started to talk.

 

     “Hey, I haven’t seen you around this mall. Is it your first time here?” The boy’s voice was so nice sounding to Chan’s ears, like an elegant symphony. 

 

     “Not really, I just don’t go out often.” Chan coldly gave him the shoulder, blatantly telling the truth with a monotone voice. The other though didn’t seem faced by his attitude.

 

     “Would you like to get a drink with me? There’s a nice bubble tea shop near.” The young male pointed behind him with his thumb and while Chan had no intentions whatsoever to go with this boy anywhere - though his heart wanted otherwise - the boy had beaten to him in his decision, pulling him by the wrist towards the store. “Oh by the way, I’m Minho.” He smiled at him before walking at a brisk pace.

 

     Chan could’ve easily pulled away from him and walked the other way, but he was much too weak to the feelings inside his chest that told him to follow Minho so he just let himself be walked to the bubble tea shop. There they got their drinks and Minho started asking him questions. Starting with his name and age - Minho was a year younger - to asking him his favourite color, animal, music, movie, etc. With this Chan also learned his fair amount of information about the other boy. One of the things that stuck to him was that Minho loved dancing, so much so that he showed him his favourite moves. And boy was he good at dancing. Chan was enraptured by his aura, his whole being. But Chan also knew how they thought of people like him, and how he thought he should also think of himself.

 

     “So… got any girlfriends or boyfriends or partners?” The boy wiggled his eyebrows winking at him. The question surprises Chan, mostly the part where he doesn’t just assume who he feels attracted to. Chan’s first reaction is to insult him as the other boys did but he thinks that that’s not a good idea in front of other people. He also is too kind to be mean despite how he’s been acting. Ignoring him and walking away also seems like a bad idea for he saw how easily the other pulled him from where he was going to get him there. And also because Chan just couldn’t resist getting lost in his eyes, loving hearing his voice lull him and feeling comfortable and safe with someone again - that wasn’t his mother.

 

     “I had… but not anymore…” Chan abruptly confessed, opening up his heart to a random stranger-not-so-strange-anymore. It even surprised him, but more so the other’s reaction to his next words. “It was a guy…”

 

     “Oh… I’m sorry…” Minho showed true worry in his face “Well, he’s missing out then because you seem like a nice partner to have.” The boy winks at him making Chan blush. The unexpected words hit him like a bunch of stones and suddenly Chan seems to see the light of life again. He thinks that maybe liking boys isn’t so gross.

 

     Their sudden meeting ends with exchanging numbers and a more happier and confident Chan. His mother, seeing his son return, even if just a little, to his usual self, is more than excited.

 

*

 

     The two meet more times and each time Chan learns more and more about his sexuality, Minho and himself. Minho is pansexual and Chan is still questioning. Minho likes music too but he isn’t too confident in his singing or rapping as much as he is on his dancing. Chan starts rapping and singing too and discovers he’s not too bad at it and that he enjoys it a lot. In fact thanks to Minho he starts writing lyrics and showing them to him, getting always hyped up by his new best friend. Minho just focuses on dancing though, and teaching Chan some moves which he learns pretty quick.

 

     “One day you’re going to become the new master and I’m gonna be the apprentince.” Minho laughs during their resting time from dancing, water bottle in hand and phone still blasting music at a lower volume.

 

     “I don’t think so, you’re too good!” Chan compliments him, making the younger boy blush lightly and it makes Chan’s heart flutter in his chest. It reminds him of his time with Woojin, and those memories reopen wounds inside his heart. And it apparently shows on his face.

 

     “Sorry… did it remind you of-?”

 

     “Nah, it’s okay.” Chan gives a reassuring smiles. And honestly, he is okay. He doesn’t let the memories push him down and he thinks that with Minho nothing bad will happen. And yes, he definitely has a crush on the boy.

 

*

 

     But Chan isn’t the first one to confess.

 

     It’s a rainy Monday, they’re inside Minho’s house, a pretty cozy and pastel home, both of his parents are in the living room and they’re in the younger boy’s bedroom chatting, when suddenly Minho stops talking and stares off into the window. Chan, who has rambling about music suddenly feels the silence and stops too, turning to the boy and watching him get lost in the distance.

 

     “Hey, you okay?” The older places a hand on top of Minho’s which catches his attention.

 

     “Yeah… just thinking…” He starts “Actually… Can I tell you something?” Chan nods and gives a comforting smile before Minho continues “You probably could already tell but… I have a crush on you…I hope that’s okay?” Minho’s usual confident demeanor vanishes and Chan is met with a more vulnerable boy, feeling now actually like the oldest he has this instinct to protect.

 

     “I knew, and it’s okay because I have a crush on you too.” Chan pecks Minho’s cheek and the other turns red as he turns to him, wide eyed. “So… shall we date?”

 

     “YES!” Minho shouts excitedly which surprises the older “I mean… yeah.” Minho blushes embarrassed and then he feels Chan’s soft lips against his cheek.


	3. Third Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you soooo much for all the kudos and hits!! I can't believe there's so many of them!!! Seriously thank youuuu uwu!!!!

     Chan and Minho’s relationship goes slower, Chan fearing a little that what happened with Woojin would also happen with him, yet the other boy never shows any signs of it. In fact Minho is rather clingy when it comes to Chan, holding his hand or hugging his arm while walking, draping himself over the other, hugging him always when they meet and much more. Chan doesn’t mind it, he’s very much pleased instead being extremely affectionate, something he didn’t really get to do with Woojin.

 

     Minho always scolds him, when he talks about the older boy so much, or even thinks about him - something Chan doesn’t even know how he knows - not because of jealousy but because Minho can see the tears brimming his eyes and doesn’t want the boy to recall sad memories. For Chan they really aren’t, they’re kinda happy, but he knows Minho’s right when he tells him to stop. It’s for the best.

 

     Their relationship started halfway-ish summer holidays and now they’re almost at the end of them. Turns out Minho goes to the same school as him, they just never met, all due the fact that Minho was a grade lower and the school is divided in sections so Chan being a Freshman he was in a different section than Minho who was in 8th grade. Now that Chan was going to be a Sophomore and Minho a Freshman they were going to be meeting more often. Both were extremely happy at the coincidence. What’s more they both go together with their families to buy their school supplies. Chan accompanied by his mother and Minho by his two dads. The two spend more time chattering, holding hands and pecking the other’s cheek than paying attention to what they have to buy, something their parents find adorable - though that wasn’t enough to make them do it for them, they had to go out of their way to get their supplies as they should with their parents helping them. Not that they complained, it was fun picking out what new pencil case they would get and get them so that they match. It was during this time that something caught Chan’s attention. It was a boy younger than them and he was also looking through the supplies. The boy was short and had black bowl-cut hair, despite looking young his eyes were rather intimidating. But what caught more his attention was that he was only with his mom.

 

     Chan had never spoken to anyone about what had happened to the other side of his family. Not for any reason but because he found it ridiculous. First, why should anyone care about it, it’s not their business. Second having just one mom isn’t weird or bad, it’s just something that happens. And third, he just doesn’t like remembering his father. Neither does his mom. It wasn’t anything that bad, the man was just an alcoholic, got tired of his family and asked for the divorce in the nicest way possible and then disappeared as if he was never there. Not caring about Chan or how their life would go. To Chan he had never existed, it has always just been his mom and him.

 

     So seeing someone else with what seemed like just a mom - though he wasn’t sure if there was another parent - it really did catch his attention. He wondered if he also felt the same way as him about his mom. If he was also protective of the woman that raised him. But Minho immediately turned his attention back to their supplies and they ended that trip not only with hands full of school items but also with a fading memory of the boy in Chan’s head as he forgot he even had seen him.

 

     *

 

     It was a day when Chan went to a music store close to his home. It was a walk away and since Chan had recently gotten interested in music he liked to go there and check for new albums of his favorite artists, listen to people who tried the instruments there and look at them himself. Though he wasn’t sure if he’d ever would have the money for it he wanted to get a guitar someday and start learning, until then he enjoyed looking at them and hearing other people try them out. He had become friends with the owner of the small store as well as his mom. The woman always worrying for Chan since the look in his eyes when he looked at instruments was of pure love but she couldn’t get him those things.

 

     Chan entered the store and greeted the owner, then proceeded to look at albums. Then he saw the boy he had forgotten that day when they went to buy school supplies. The boy was looking through albums too just a few steps away from him and by some strange force Chan walked over and greeted him, surprising the boy who looked at him with wide eyes which made him actually look younger. The boy barely reached Chan’s nose. Both were silent after Chan had greeted the boy and then just stared at each other in silence.

 

     “Sorry,” Chan apologized “Name’s Chan. I just wanted to ask you what music you’re into?” He half asked. The boy suddenly looked very nervous and even seemed like he was trembling.

 

     “Dark.” He whispered, Chan cocked his head and leaned closer to hear him better “Dark.” The boy had turned his head a little at the sudden closeness but Chan was able to definitely hear him that time.

 

     “Oh so like dark kind music?” The boy nods “I like it too!” Chan exclaimed excitedly which caused the other to jump, Chan apologized but the other shook his head. “So… what kind of dark music do you like most?”

 

     “Rap.” The other replied shyly. “I love rap music and I like rapping…” His eyes were so shiny as he talked, Chan thought it was a beautiful thing, seeing someone talk about what they like in that way. “Oh… and I’m Changbin. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself…”

 

     “Oh no, it’s fine! I didn’t even ask so I should apologize instead.” Chan scratched the back of his head as the other boy, Changbin, waved his hands and shook his head.

 

     “What kind of music do you like?” Changbin asks after Chan is done clawing at his head.

 

     “Oh! Me? Well… I like most music I guess… But I think I mainly like songs that are meaningful you know?” Chan explained excitedly as the other nodded his head “Like… songs that have a message!” Changbin nodded enthusiastically at Chan’s words.

 

     “I get you, I love those types of songs a lot too, they’re my favourite.” Changbin says looking extremely happy, he then glances at the clock and suddenly his eyes dull - Chan catches that. “Sorry, I gotta go… back home…”

 

     “Oh, it’s okay… do you want me to go with you?” He asks kindly.

 

     “No, no, no!” Changbin answers immediately. “I mean… It’s best if you don’t…” He whispers and runs out of the shop and out of sight. Chan exits out too and sees him run away, he stands there until he can’t see Changbin anymore and then heads back home. Happy at meeting someone you, worried about what could be of the younger boy.

 

     *

 

     School starts, Chan and Minho are excited in their first day of school and walk in hand in hand, ignoring the sneers of the bullies Chan had already talked about to Minho.  The two stride in with matching shirts and a lovey dovey air around them. Some girls actually squeal at their sight. Chan spots Woojin out of the corner of his eye and thinks he might’ve seen something similar to sadness in his expression but he quickly shakes him out of his head and focuses on Minho.

 

     Their school days fly by and it’s almost a week in when Chan sees someone he recognizes. It’s Changbin, and he’s sitting alone during recess. Chan had talked about him to Minho and now he turns again to his boyfriend and points him out. Chan had been so extremely worried about the boy that somehow seeing him again after that time in the music shop makes him relax.

 

     “Why don’t we go and talk to him. He seems lonely.” Minho furrows his eyebrows, looking at the boy.

 

     “But… I’m not sure he’d want to…” Chan hesitates. Minho watches him staring at the poor boy and decides to take his hand and walk them to Changbin. When they reach where he’s at the boy looks up, terrified at first, but his gaze softens when he sees Chan and then narrows yet again when he spots the male beside him. This squeezes their hearts. What could’ve possibly happened to the boy to make him act like that? “Hey…” Chan starts slowly, expectant and then realizes the boy doesn’t know his boyfriend. “Oh, this is Minho… we’re…” Suddenly Chan freezes, not sure what to say or how to act and suddenly the world around him stops. His mind replays the incident again and again and then slowly the boys transform into Changbin. For some reason it hurts Chan’s heart more than if it was somebody else.

 

     “Boyfriends.” Minho ends the sentence, looking worriedly at Chan as the older had stayed silent for a long time, but Minho’s voice brings him back to reality.

 

     “Yeah… we’re boyfriends…” Chan smiles, more relaxed as he feels MInho squeeze his hand. He then waits for Changbin’s reaction.

 

     “Oh… you two make a cute couple.” Changbin smiles too and there’s no malice behind his words, he seems genuinely happy as he looks at them both, the shininess back in his eyes. Chan puts two and two together and grins even more.

 

     “Hey, you’re gonna creep him out.” Minho nudges Chan with his elbow, the three of them laugh. Then they spend the rest of recess talking to each other. Minho and Changbin get along really well and Minho becomes intrigued in rapping. Changbin promises them both to give them rapping lessons in a very soft and childlike manner which softens the other two’s hearts. They learn more about the youngest, he’s in 8th grade at their school, he loves rapping and really, really likes dark things. Though his actions seem to scream the opposite. The school bell rings, signalling the end of recess, and they each go to their corresponding classes.

 

     *

 

     For months it goes like this: Chan and Minho go on cute dates, the younger being extremely romantic towards Chan. Then, they meet Changbin during recess at their school or some days when they just want to hang out, there they learn more and more about the boy. Sooner they get to know that Changbin lives in a rich family but that his parents don’t really pay much attention to him and let him do whatever though they keep a strict ‘no friends or being out after 5’ policy. Something that both Chan and Minho think seems too unfair. Mostly the part about having no friends. Changbin quickly explains to them how he gets out of the house and comes back in - without his parents knowing, he lies - and also how he’s never had anyone ever to be interested in talking to him without taking advantage of him. Which is why he’s so cold towards everyone else. He also admits to feeling more comfortable than normal with them. Chan smiles at that.

 

     Something else that happens to Chan during school has to do with Woojin. The boy slowly talks to him more and more. Usually just giving him a ‘good morning’ or ‘see you later’ and then talking to him when needed, usually not going out of his way to establish a conversation with the younger. Chan also sees him stop hanging out with certain friends that were in with bullying him because he’s dating Minho. In fact, Chan feels he sees him more and more lonely as time passes. But Minho tries to make sure Chan doesn’t get hurt again. He doesn’t necessarily stop him completely from even looking in Woojin’s direction, just tells him to ‘be careful’ in a soft voice. In any way Chan doesn’t have the guts to actually go out to him and say anything. Mainly because he still has a crush on the older boy despite it all and of course because he also doesn’t want to get hurt again.

 

     And then there’s Chan’s horror.

 

     It was a nice day when he and Changbin were hanging out. Minho had some family issues to attend to so he couldn’t hang out with them. It wasn’t a big deal, he had tried to calm them, it also wasn’t the first time the two hung out without the other. For the most part the two talked about music, exchanged lyrics because yes, Changbin also wrote lyrics, and Chan practiced rap with the other boy as his mentor.

 

     Changbin was an amazing rapper, in fact Chan and Minho were his biggest fans, though they were the only ones who had heard him rap. The two lovebirds slowly tried to catch up to him, showing some nice progress as Changbin told them what to do, when to do it and how.

 

     It had been a couple of hours when Chan sat on the bench they usually hung out, tired and gulping down water.  Changbin laughed at him and told him to drink slower, something Chan did, flustered. The younger then turned on a song - they were at the park and there was no one, but they still played it at a low volume - and then started rapping in a low tone. At first the song was soft, chill, mellow, it had some dark undertones that chilled Chan, making him shiver as he saw the other’s face dance along with his rapping. Then the song built up, becoming harsh, it erupted like a volcano and so did Changbin, his brows furrowed and mouth moving extremely fast. The song was about being pushed down by society and how one hated themselves so much they wanted to disappear. Changbin had explained to them he felt certain representation to the song though without going to much in detail. At that moment Chan understood what Changbin was slightly hinting at. Adrenaline flowed through Chan’s body as he sat there, mouth wide open and seeing the younger perform, it was amazing and heart wrenching, the way Chan could see how much Changbin felt the song in his bones. When he finished, he flashed a smile to Chan, sweat forming on top of his brow, cap low on his head. Then Chan felt it again. A beat out of synch. Butterflies in his stomach. And he damned himself.


	4. Fourth Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooaaaahh I've gotten so many likes and comments and stuff and I'm sooo >////< Thank you sooo much everyone for reading this fic!!! Hope this chapter is good 'cause so far is the one I feel worst about ><

     Chan is able to control his emotions, somewhat. Okay not really. His heart beats faster whenever near either Minho or Changbin, and when the two are together it beats even faster - Chan fears his heart will jump out of his chest and make a run for it one day -, or even when the two interact Chan can’t help but feel all warm inside. Not like the two interact in any romantic way, it’s usually high-fiving, slapping the other on the arm or looking at each other in some way, but never do they show any romanticism towards each other - even when Chan looks when they’re not aware. He is glad, in some part, since that means Minho isn’t going to cheat on him with Changbin but at the same time he somehow wants to see the two be more affectionate, something he thinks might be weird. Chan finds the whole situation he’s in weird. And he’d be lying if he said he doesn’t feel terribly guilty for sneaking glances at the youngest sometimes and admiring him from afar when Minho isn’t looking. It’s not like Chan wants to do it, he just does, and he’s not going to cheat on Minho, but somehow the two have some aura that attracts him to the two and makes his eyes wander to their beings, mostly looking and getting lost in their eyes. But Chan fears what this may be, what it means, and how long it’ll last. He hopes it’s just something wild happening in his head. That maybe he’s just feeling free-ier now and can just fall in love with anyone now that he’s getting comfortable with his sexuality - something he’s still figuring out but starts to feel comfort in that he can be whatever he wants. Maybe, he hopes, it’ll go away one day.

 

     But months pass and the feeling is persistent. He’s caught himself more than once staring too long at Changbin and he has seen Minho and Changbin catch him doing that. Sometimes he’ll just joke around and say whatever or just admit he was lost in thought - which he was just in a different way he’ll never tell. But he feels that at least Minho is getting suspicious of something, and it hurts him in the chest. The younger boy doesn’t change his attitude, he’s just as affectionate and romantic with Chan as he has been, but sometimes he has caught, out of the corner of his eye, Minho looking sadly at him. It breaks Chan’s heart. But he also doesn’t know what to do, and with Woojin being more and more friendly each time, and Chan also feeling a tug towards the older boy that he tries to fight more, it doesn’t really help.

 

     It’s an afternoon, after school has ended, when Chan’s fears gets bigger. He’s just walking around the school as everyone else leaves, Chan turns the corner of the building, the one that’s closest to the wall that closes in the perimeter of the school grounds. There’s a few benches there where students can hang out and a couple of trees that provide some nice shade. Chan knows Minho is going to talk to some teachers about some project he’s working on to get a better grade - not that he needs it but he’s just that hard-working. And Changbin hasn’t gone out yet which means his class is being held back, possibly by one of the class clowns his class has. The poor boy isn’t in the best class but he manages somehow, something Chan admires. Usually the benches are empty but this time there’s a boy there. He’s tall, much taller than the three of them, with long-ish raven hair, some sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He also notices a cross pendant on him. The boy starts up some music Chan can hear through his earphones, and then suddenly dances some choreography that leaves Chan more than impressed. The boy’s got moves, Minho’s probably a tiny bit better but he guesses he’s been longer into dance than this boy - or he’s just simply biased, of course. Then he hears the boy stop the music, roughly take out his earphones, run a hand through his locks, pull them a little and sigh.

 

     “I’m never gonna get this right. There’s no point in trying anymore, I guess…” He sounds absolutely defeated and Chan can then see his face, he’s handsome and there’s a few tears welling up in his eyes. Chan approaches him, not wanting to turn around and leave this poor soul be, saddened and giving up on his dreams, dreams he doesn’t know but Chan doesn’t care. Since he’s been with his boyfriend who’s helped him become a better person, Chan feels this is a big step he needs to take. He takes a few more steps and taps the taller boy on the shoulder, making him jump. “WOAH!”

 

     “Hey- oh, um, sorry about that…” Chan starts fiddling with the hem of his shirt, the taller boy suddenly looks a little more flustered, looks down at the ground and mumbles a small ‘okay’ “I know this may be weird but I just saw you dancing and heard you… you know, kinda want to give up. Well you see, I just wanted you to know that you dance amazingly and I have a friend that dances really awesome and if you need help he can help you, you know? Ah, sorry I’m just saying things, well just… don’t give up, yeah?” Chan gives the taller boy a sheepish smile and he smiles back. It makes Chan’s heart flutter a little.

 

     “T-thank you… Um… For all the compliments… But I don’t want to burden your friend…” The boy says very shyly, running a hand through his hair and then playing with a strand, all the while only glancing at Chan a few times.

 

     “Oh you’re not a burden! Much less to my boyfriend-” Chan then freezes and the boy looks at him weirdly. “Yeah… my boyfriend,” Chan continues confidently, the other boy smiles at this “he doesn't mind at all, and if he does I’ll scold him.” Chan jokes and the tall boy laughs.

 

     “Chan?” They hear a voice, one that Chan recognizes immediately, call out in front of the doors to the school. Chan walks a little to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend and when the other turns his way he waves him over. “Hello, sugar.” Minho pecks his cheek and wraps an arm around him. “Who’s this?”

 

     “Oh, this is… um-” Chan facepalms. “Sorry, never got your name, this is my boyfriend, Minho. I’m Chan.”

 

     “Oh, my name’s Hyunjin, nice to meet you both.” Hyunjin smiles shyly and his cheeks redden.

 

     “I saw him dancing and then hear him sigh and say that he wanted to give up on it and thought I’d cheer him up.” Chan explains excitedly to Minho who nods and looks at him lovingly. “Also, I offered him some of your classes for dance.” Chan smirks and says all smug.

 

     “Wait, hold on what?” Minho looks astonished. “But… I don’t give classes?”

 

     “Please, baby come on!! He has a lot of talent!!” Chan pleads giving the other puppy eyes.

 

     “Hmm…” Minho puts his hand on his chin and fakes he’s in deep thought. “I guess I could do some classes. Let’s see what you got boy.” At the words Hyunjin nods very firmly and plays some music then starts dancing. He follows the beat like it’s embedded in his body. Before it’s over Changbin has come over to them and he’s then also watching Hyunjin dumbfounded. “Wow.” Is all Minho says when the tall boy is done.

 

     “I know right, isn’t he good?” Chan jumps excitedly.

 

     “Way too good.” Changbin agrees. “Hey Minho, you got competition. Ya trembling yet?” He pokes Minho on the side and the other just fakely glares at him.

 

     “Whatever.” He huffs. “You’ve got something in you though. You really know how to move with the beat and that ain’t easy.”

 

     “Well, I’ve been practicing a lot, so I’m glad it showed.” Hyunjin rubs the back of his neck, his face more red than before.

 

     “Alrighty then, I’ve decided.” Minho exclaims pointing one finger at the sky. “Imma give you some of my help and experience to make you even better.” Hyunjin claps at his words and smiles widely. Chan feels super giddy about the whole ordeal.

 

     “Hey, how old are you?” Changbin suddenly asks.

 

     “I’m thirteen, I’m in 7th grade. Why?” Hyunjin tilts his head to one side with a confused look on his face, which makes him look cute.

 

     “YEAH!” Changbin suddenly jumps in the air. “I’m not the youngest anymore, yeah, yeah, yeah.” He throws punches in the air, jumps again and does a little cute dance. They all laugh and Hyunjin fakes a pout.

 

     “Welcome to our group of friends.” Chan says to Hyunjin.

 

     “Idiot friends.” Minho adds.

 

     “You’re our new baby!” Chan coos and pinches the tall boy’s cheeks and Minho follows.

 

     Chan’s heart has been skipping beats but he decides to ignore it and scold himself later.

 

     *

 

     The four of them start hanging out. At first it was watching Minho helping Hyunjin with his dancing. The tallest wanted to join a dance club at school but you had to audition first and he wanted to practice a lot before doing it and then found himself willing to give up. Then with the help of Minho he found himself feeling more confident and not only did he audition and pass but so did Minho. So now that was a thing, Minho and Hyunjin attended to their dance club every Wednesday and Friday noon. Those days Chan and Changbin would hang out and then pick them up and would talk together until they all went their separate ways to their homes. Otherwise they would hang out together, the four of them, and goof around until it was late and they would head home. The entire time Chan’s heart would race and then would calm down when he was at home alone, though just thinking of them would get his heart fired up again.

 

     He had told his mom about his problems, since he has always been open to her. She had understood and tried to comfort him as much as she could but it wasn’t like she knew what else to do.

 

     “You should follow your heart.” She spoke softly. “But I know that can be hard and sometimes it might be best to leave it up to your mind and what you think is best. Still know that I will always be here and support you no matter what.”

 

     Her wise words swam through Chan’s mind and somehow and idea came to his head. He was afraid of what could occur from it, and what would happen afterwards but if he wanted to get rid of this feeling he had, this one thing was the only solution.

 

     “Thank you, mom. You always know what to say.” Chan hugged her tightly

 

     “You always say that and leave me without knowing what I’ve done.” She chuckled.

 

     *

 

     Chan was ultimately scared, downright terrified, completely horrified. But it was the thing he had to do. It was a Saturday morning and he had texted Minho right after waking up.

 

**Sat 7:14**

**Sweet baby boy Minho**

**Channie:**

Hey, could you come by to the park as soon as you can? Meet you there.

 

     He sweated all throughout writing it despite it being somewhat on the short side and then stalled sending it. Then Chan did his morning routine as always but with a knot on his stomach. He had prepared what he had wanted to say but funnily enough he also wasn’t ready for today. As soon as Chan finished breakfast he received a message from Minho.

 

**Sat 7:47**

**Sweet baby boy Minho**

**Minhohoho:**

alrighty ^^

omw

 

     Chan then nervously made his way to the park. Once there he only had to wait a few minutes for Minho to appear with his usual bubbly self, a ‘hello, sugar’ and a peck on the cheek. For a while it was just them talking as usual. Chan could easily see through Minho’s facade that he was in fact nervous that he called him here before their meeting time. Chan wanted to further stall for time before confronting Minho but he knew he had to step up at some point or another. When silence came over them for the first time since they had been casually chatting Chan took the opportunity.

 

     “Hey… There’s a reason why I called you here…” Chan started.

 

     “I guessed so…” Minho looked down at the ground, his arm that was wrapped around Chan was lowered and suddenly the older boy felt unusually cold.

 

     “You see, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say and I think that I should tell you first.” His words shocked Minho a little but then softened his face and made a gesture to continue. “So… you see… I love you, so very, very, very much. For real! You can’t even imagine how much I love you and I’ll say it a thousand times. And I love holding your hand and kissing your cheeks and petting your hair and hugging you… I love you... “

 

     “I know babe, I know. Just say whatever, I’ll still love you.” Minho’s soft voice made Chan feel comforted and more confident.

 

     “Alright… I- I love you but… I also love someone else…” Chan closed his eyes as he felt them tear up, fearing what might happen next but as he opened them up slowly and a hand was placed on his shoulder, he saw Minho’s calm and collected face.

 

     “Was that it?” Minho asked warmly. Chan nodded. “Then it isn’t so bad! It’s totally okay to feel that way!”

 

     “Really?” Chan’s eyes widened.

 

     “Yeah!” Minho nodded. “In fact… I wanted to say the same thing. And let me guess! Let me guess! You also love Changbin…” Minho started and Chan’s face turned slightly red. “... and you’ve also fallen for Hyunjin!” Minho finished and the olderr’s face was redder than a tomato.

 

     “H-how did you know?” Chan asked pointing at the boy.

 

     “I have my ways.” Minho shrugged smugly.

 

     “Mr. Lee, you and your mysteries.” Chan crossed his arms, shaking his head with a smirk.

 

     “Alright then, what’s the plan, do we just tell them?” Minho asked Chan, pondering too what to do.

 

     “I think we should… I mean it’s for the best right?” Chan looked down at the ground, immediately his head started stirring up scenarios of what could happen, some darker than others.

 

     “Hey.” Minho put an arm around him. “No matter what we’ll always have each other, yeah?” Chan nods at his words and leans into the embrace.

 

     The two decided to first tell Changbin and see his reaction, since he has been with them longer than Hyunjin. Chan texted him something similar to what he texted Minho, the shortest’s messages were of a confused Changbin but agreed to go still. The two waited for a long time until he came, since the boy lived farther away, had to sneak out and probably was still asleep when he was texted. Meanwhile the two talked about Changbin and Hyunjin, first about how they would react and what they would say, then about how cute Changbin was and how handsome Hyunjin was, and then a bunch of other compliments for the boys, making each other blush with the idea of being able to all hold hands and cuddle together, then it came back to reality where they pondered if the other two would really feel comfortable with the idea. Then Changbin came.

 

     “Hey, what’s up?” A concerned Changbin approached them, eyebrows furrowed.

 

     “Ammm… Minho and I have something to talk about with you…” Chan apprached the subject carefully “You see… For the longest time now I… me and Minho… Well…”

 

     “Chan, go on, you can do it.” Minho placed a comforting hand on the oldest’s back.

 

     “We both have a crush on you.” At this Changbin’s eyes widened. “And we wonder if… well… you’d li-”

 

     “YES!” Changbin shouted interrupting Chan’s slow talking “I mean… you… you were gonna ask me… out right?” Changbin suddenly felt nervous and flustered at jumping like that, getting to excited and ahead of himself. Minho chuckled and hugged Changbin.

 

“Of course you little marshmallow.” Minho cooed at the short boy, and Chan awed at the nickname.

 

     “R-really?” Changbin asked dumbfounded once Minho separated from him, Chan nodded enthusiastically. “YES! I say yes!” The three laughed at his excitement and how adorable he was jumping around and doing cute little dances.

 

     “You’re adorable.” Minho whispered but the other two heard it, Changbin blushed at his words and stopped his dancing, becoming a bit more shy. Chan and Minho enveloped him in his arms and crushed him between the two of them, making Changbin complain about suffocating.

 

     “Wait, there’s something more…” Chan suddenly realized, Changbin eyed him curiously “We feel like this towards Hyunjin too… How do you feel about it all Binnie?”

 

     “Umm… I… I like both of you… And Hyunjin as well… L-like in that way, you know?” Changbin nervously explained while the other two nodded. “But how will we tell Hyunjin?”

 

     “We just say it.” Minho shrugged, confidence overflowing, leaving the other two open mouthed. “What? We did it with Binnie and look at how well he took it, we should do the same. And if there’s any problems well… it’s three against one.”

 

     “Wow! Why go there?” Chan was shocked.

 

     “Hey, I’m just saying! And close your mouth, flies are gonna get in.” Minho tapped Changbin’s chin.

 

     And so like that they had their second plan of their day - Chan’s third - to confess to Hyunjin as well, just when they met. They had yet to wait a little and whilist they did they acted like the most lovey dovey trio you’d have ever seen. Mostly though it was Chan and Minho crushing Changbin between them, cooing over him and pecking his cheeks constantly, since the shortest would blush furiously. After a bit more of waiting they saw Hyunjin’s figure appear in the park, they waved him over and Hyunjin didn’t seem a bit fazed by seeing them already there. Not like it was that abnormal, usually Hyunjin came late since the boy took a long time to wake up and get ready.

 

     “What’s up?” The tallest casually asked.

 

     “Late again my boy.” Minho said, trying to keep the casual air in the conversation. Until Chan coughed a little suspiciously. Minho glared at him.

 

     “There’s a lot going on today… and you’re about to know what’s happening.” Chan’s words scared Hyunjin, the fear being readable on the boy’s face. “Me and Minho are together… with Changbin…”

 

     “Oh…” Hyunjin said, still processing the information. “Oh!” He suddenly gets it and puts his fist on his palm. “I get it! So you guys are polyamorous?” The three of them nod at his question, and Hyunjin fakes swiping sweat away from his forehead. “Fiu, I thought I was the only one. Though now I’m going to be a third wheel… wait, a fourth wheel?” While Hyunjin pondered the other three laughed.

 

     “You won’t be.” Minho commented, leavin Hyunjin confused.

 

     “Yeah. Because we’re actually… also in love with you? And we… well, you know? Wanted to ask you out?” Chan further explained.

 

     “Oh, oh! Yes! Of course! Absolutely! I mean…” Hyunjin was completely flustered, his faces extremely redded and the three did nothing but coo at him.

 

     “Awww baby is in love with us!” Minho walked over to pinch one of his cheeks, while Changbin followed.

 

     “Welcome to the love group now.” Chan opened up his arms and the four of them hugged tightly.

 

     *

 

     “Really, love group?” Minho asked looking disgusted at Chan.

 

     “Yeah… that’s a name… I guess…” Changbin added on.

 

     “I was weirded out at the time but didn’t want to say anything.” Hyunjin defended himself.

 

     “Hey! You guys come up with a better name!” Chan fakely pouted while the other three laughed, sooner or later the oldest joined in that laughter.


	5. Fifth Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all your support!! It means a lot to me!!! This one was a lil rushed so I do apologize for any mistakes! Thank youuu!
> 
> TW: Homophobia, mentions of abuse, bruises, negligent parents

     Throughout the course of the rest year and summer, the four of them got to get closer to each other. Barring through hatred in school and outside of school as well as getting to know small parts of each other that maybe that person didn’t really want them to know. Aside from all the more sad parts of their lives they still got to go on dates and just simply be together. That time was usually filled with hugging, cuddles and pecks on the cheek. Chan was by far the clingiest, always hugging one of them, giving them kisses whenever and what was the most important part for Chan was tickling them. They nicknamed the oldest ‘the tickle monster’. Minho was the one who gave them all confidence, always making sure that none of them left bad about any part of their being, like when Changbin was feeling down about his physical appearance - mostly about his nose -, or when Hyunjin thought he wasn’t good at anything but just ‘being pretty’ as they always told him. Changbin was the one who acted cute the most, despite not being the youngest it was like he was anyway, but sometimes showed his maturity when confronted with the concerns of the others. Hyunjin, the youngest of the four, was the most protected since he was still innocent to how mean other people could be, as well as being sometimes much too nice and kind to some of those people.

 

     Hyunjin had a father and a mother. Both were happily married and loved Hyunjin very much. For Hyunjin they were what he hoped to have someday, but he wanted to have more than one person to spend the rest of his life with if possible. To him they were a couple who hadn’t fallen out of love with each other, and Hyunjin had only found out recently what his sexuality was, or at least at that moment. What he was sure of, as he looked at the three, was that he was polyamorous. What he wasn’t sure of though was how his family would take it, they never showed any signs of whether they accepted it or not since whenever the subject came up they evaded it. Hyunjin was young and afraid of ever bringing it up so it only came up when someone outside of them three said anything about it or whenever anyone on tv talked about it, his parents never agreeing or disagreeing with anything anybody said, just ignored. Hyunjin found it to be more nervewracking than anything in his life as he felt like he walked the tightrope between being safe and in danger. He could come out and his parents either be okay with it, indifferent or against it. And Hyunjin never knew which one it would be.

 

     Changbin as we know lived in a rich family. A father, a mother and an older brother. Neither of his parents really cared about him, all they wanted was for him to follow the same path his brother took which was the same his father took. He wasn’t expected to be anything big really, but if anything were to happen they wanted someone reliable to take on the company his father owned. So his parents were strict with high expectations, but they always dismissed him, only ever caring about whether he had eaten, bathed, had any illness or wounds and if he had done his homework and studied. Everything else they didn’t care, like per example what he liked, what he didn’t like. Friends and dreams were overrated for them, so much so that they forgave him from having either of those. Luckily for Changbin he was extremely agile and thanks to his small stature - the only time he’d actually be thankful for it, even if Minho doesn’t like that - he would be able to get out of his house and come back without neither of his parents noticing. Not that they ever did, seeing him about a quarter of their day some days.

 

     Minho had two fathers who always helped them with everything. They were two lovely men who loved each other very much and made sure that Minho felt like he belonged with them, that they were his family as well as making sure the rest of his friends, well, boyfriends now, felt the same. The day Minho came out to them they made sure he felt comfortable and that he would never hesitate if he changed his sexuality because he felt more like himself in that other way. Another day was when Minho had introduced Chan as his boyfriend to them. The two couldn’t keep the smiles off their faces and were very happy to also meet Chan’s mother who’s a caring woman. And then getting to know that Minho had two other boyfriends and that the four of them loved each other very much had made them very happy, not only because that meant Minho had more than just them that showed him he was loved but because the four boys had each other and it felt more like destiny for them than just a coincidence. The love Minho’s dads gave him, the courage and safety they provided him made Minho confident and it was something the boy wanted to give to his boyfriends as well.

 

     Chan has a story we already know. Grown up with a single mother because his father, an alcoholic, left them for another woman. Though it was a strangely neutral and pacific separation it felt even more unreal. Chan never really wanted his parents to divorce, but as he seemed to know his father less and less as time passed, and now that he doesn’t even know where he is, or even if he’s alive, he feels as if though he has always been with his mother anyway. Coming all the way to America from Australia was a big deal, and being made fun of for his accents and the fact that he didn’t have a father hurt him, but his mother was such a strong and influential person for him that he endured everything and grew stronger and stronger just because he wanted to be like her. Now Chan has three other people he cares about and feels influenced by, three people he loves deeply and knows he’d never have it any other way.

 

*

 

     The australian boy is having a walk around the inside of the school, waiting for his boyfriends to come out of their classes. He’s just glancing around the schools announcements and clubs board, passing his eyes through the dance club post, a small smile drawing on his lips when he sees it. It’s a paper for a club, but unlike the other ones filling the board, it’s for a rap club and suddenly a bulb lights up above his head. He knows Changbin is shy and has a bit of anxiety meeting new people and being in crowds alone, the boy having never dealt with other humans since he had always been caged in his home. But Chan knows it’d be a nice change of pace for Changbin to have something to do and something he loves. The shortest has had expressed the desire to learn more about rapping, to do it more than just in his spare time but doesn’t know how he’d ever do it, having little time to ever go on the internet to spend his time in tutorials, and not being able to get into any kind of music academy given he’d need the permission of his parents and lord knows he’d never get it. But a club? He’d be able to get in perfectly even if there were auditions, Chan thinks, and he’d be able to still hang out with them and then get back home at a nice hour and his parents would never know. 

 

     So Chan of course proposes the idea to him the next day, getting one of the many pamphlets there are and shoving it in Changbin’s face during recess making the other two there chuckle.

 

     “No.” The boy blatantly refuses. “I’m not going.”

 

     “But why?” Chan gives him puppy eyes.

 

     “Because no. Period.” Changbin has a very serious expression.

 

     “But-” Chan starts but he’s beaten by Changbin

 

     “No is no. I’m not going to a club where there’s people I don’t know and get insulted again. It already happened once I’m not letting it happen again. Plus I think I already wasted my luck getting to know you guys so I don’t think so.” Changin chuckles sadly at the end as he looks down at the table, tears seem to gather up in his eyes but the boy quickly pushes them back.

 

     “What happened before?” Minho asks carefully. “If you want to tell us of course.”

 

     “I tried to join the soccer club.” Changbin answered. “Got through the audition, was always on the bench anyway but as soon as they knew I was from a rich family they all wanted me to be their friends… at first I thought they really wanted to then I found out it was just because I was rich when they insulted me behind my back…”

 

     “Gosh…” Chan gasps.

 

     “I’d punch those guys if I was there, like, right in the face.” Hyunjin balls up his fist.

 

     “No no, tell me, are they in this school? Are they in your class?” Minho asks, a dark expression on his face.

 

     “I’m not telling you anything and let you get into a reformatory!” Changbin whisper-shouts concerned. Minho laughs saying he was just joking.

 

     “Hey! I have an idea.” Everyone turns to Chan. “How about I join the club first? So I can scout out who’s in there and get you an idea, then we can go together to the club, would that make you feel better?”

 

     “Well…” Changbin looks down and then to Chan “...yeah.” He says in a small voice. Chan coos and pinches his cheeks.

 

     “It’s decided then.”

 

     *

 

     So it’s the day after and also the end of the school day and Chan has made sure that Changbin is heading home safely before walking towards the room where the rap club should be. He’s naturally excited and also a little scared but mostly he’s hoping it’ll be a nice place where Changbin can feel safe and let his skills develop and be shown to other people than just them. As Chan reaches the room he can hear a soft melodic rap, he thinks that maybe they’re doing auditions or just letting people show off what they’ve got and he’s now scared of going in and interrupt anything. Nevertheless Chan slowly opens the door and lets himself in, he looks around the room, it’s basically empty except for one boy who’s sitting with his back towards the door, phone in his one hand and the other gesturing wildly. Chan stands there dumbfounded, amazed at the boy’s talent and beautiful soft high pitch rap as he slowly closes the door, Chan tries to rethink and act as if he’s just stepped in to try not to make things weird but the door has already closed, making noise and startling the boy sitting there. First the boy’s expression is of surprise and also embarrassment, then of delight.

 

     “Oh my god! Come in, come in!” The boy exclaims, setting down his phone in one of the tables and walking towards Chan. “Tell me, what’s your name, you wanna join the rap club? Can you rap? Show me, show me!” The boy’s extremely excited and can’t seem to stop talking and bouncing on his feet while Chan opens and closes his mouth trying to talk. Before the boy goes talking again Chan stops him.

 

     “Wait. Hi, I’m Chan… and yeah, I want to join the club if that’s okay?” Chan calmly talks as the boy nods excitedly, still bouncing on his feet.

 

     “Oh! You want to join! Yes!” The boy now fully jumps and Chan physically has to stop him, pushing his hands down on his shoulders as he feels more and more nauseous seeing the boy move non-stop. “Sorry…” He scratches the back of his head, embarrassed.

 

     “No, no, it’s okay it’s just that I wanted to get a good look at you, you know?” Chan explains, quite honestly, what he wanted and feels slightly vulnerable doing so and feels his heart flutter once again at the sight of the boy’s face flush pink.

 

     “Oh…” The boy’s mouth hangs open. “Yeah…”

 

     “By the way, I didn’t catch your name?” Chan asks politely.

 

     “Yes, yes! Name’s Jisung.” He says proudly. “Nice to meet you.”

 

     “Nice to meet you too!” Chan smiles and he sees Jisung get exponentially more flustered. “Oh, and I do know how to rap, sorta?” Well you se-”

 

     “Show me, show me!” Jisung bounces on his feet again, cutting of the australian boy as he rushes to his phone. “What kind of music would you like? Or do you know any rap by somebody else?” Jisung keeps his eyes on Chan’s as the shine and glisten like there are thousands of starts in them.

 

     “Oh… well..” Chan not wanting to disappoint the other boy tries to think up a rap he’s practiced enough that he’ll be confident in. He tells Jisung who immediately searches up the song, it’s an indie artist, a small rap that’s barely a minute long. And Chan successfully pronounces all the words just right, at the right time and with the right tone. Jisung is left with a thoughtful expression.

 

     “Not bad, not bad.” Jisung appreciates, Chan knows he’s not as good as Changbin and now he knows he’s also not as good as this boy but he’s proud of what he’s done, not that he isn’t open to any criticism. “But hopefully we can get better together, right?”

 

     It’s unexpected, the words that form out of Jisung’s mouth as the boy smiles, a charming feeling around the boy that just pulls Chan in and seems to never let him go. The boy looks so young and cheerful, like nothing could go wrong with him or his life and it makes him want to protect Jisung from the world.

 

     “Yeah.” Is all Chan replies.

 

     And then they do get to know each other more. Jisung being the same age as Hyunjin and seemingly even going to his same class. Apparently Jisung knows more than Chan thought since the boy did see them around school and recognizes them often but never really knew much more, saying he’s more concentrated in studying than everything else, something Chan doesn’t really truly believe. Chan won’t say he’s a people expert but having had his deal of getting to know people more and having three boyfriends who are vastly different he’s able to tell there are a lot of things Jisung isn’t telling. Things the boy is hiding but he doesn’t dare prod around enough to make him let them out. Not like he thinks it’d be okay to do, they’re nobody to each other, at least for the time being, and he doesn’t think it’d be normal to open up to somebody you just met. Yet he hopes they can become better friends and hopefully Chan will then learn what’s going on in Jisung’s life and hopefully also help him.

 

     “Actually there was another reason why I wanted to join.” Chan says as the topic comes up.

 

     “Oh really? What is it?” Jisung tilts his head to the side, an action Chan can’t help but coo at mentally and then scold himself.

 

     “Well… I have a friend who also likes rapping… and raps really really good!” Chan excitedly enunciates and puts a lot of emphasis in ‘good’. “But he’s shy? Sorta? So he wanted me to go first and see what it’s all about before joining… But you’re awesome and nice so he’s gotta find this an awesome place to be at!”

 

     “Oh…” Jisung says. “He should definitely come! The more the merrier! Also thank you… you’re nice too.” The younger boy lowers his head as his cheeks turn red.

 

     Chan’s heart beats faster.

 

     *

 

     The next day comes far too slow for Chan. He’s way more excited for it than Changbin, who’s a bit iffy about it still despite Chan’s constant reassuring. The two walk hand in hand towards the club room and they can hear a voice rapping to the beat of a melancholic melody on the other side of the door. Chan knock softly at first but it seems that Jisung is far too immersed in the rap to notice it so he knocks harder next, the music then stops and the door opens, a happy Jisung appearing in their view. Chan looks to Changbin who’s wearing the frown he always wears when alone or near strangers. They quickly introduce each other and Jisung awaits excitedly for Changbin to show what he can do. The short boy quietly searches for a song he knows he’s good at and Jisung can’t take his eyes off of him. Then Changbin clears his throat before pushing play and soon they’re surrounded by a strong and dark rapping, a cold stare in his eyes. Jisung awes at him, his mouth hanging open.

 

     “Woah! You’re so good!” Jisung doesn’t leave room for Changbin to breath. “Let’s have a rap battle.” Jisung says seriously which sends a shiver down Chan’s spine, the boy seemed incapable of being like that, he asked himself how would Changbin deal with this and felt like stepping in to protect his boyfriend.

 

     “Uh… sure.” Changbin shrugged, eyebrows furrowed and hiding his shaky hands.

 

     As soon as Changbin accepted Jisung went to turn on some random beat and started rapping extremely fast, surprising both boys. He went off, not dissing Changbin but certainly putting himself up on a tall pedestal. When Jisung finished he gestured for Changbin to take his turn but the boy had been shocked by Jisung’s rapping. Chan noticed that the short boy’s eyes glistened like whenever he rapped or talked about something he loved a lot, he felt a smile draw on his lips as Changbin extended a hand towards Jisung leaving him bewildered.

 

     “Let’s be friends? And rap together?” Changbin suggested, his hand shaking slightly.

 

     “YES!” Jisung smiled from ear to ear, shaking with excitement and shook Changbin’s hand, holding onto it longer as he jumped laughing.

 

     The three then chatted the rest of the time, Changbin and Jisung getting to know each other more while Chan sat back and watched their interactions with a smile on his face. Sometimes Changbin looked at him smiling and eyes shining and Chan would grin and wink which made the other turn around with a face of fake disgust. Jisung would gesture wildly while talking and explaining things. Changbin and Jisung were the biggest fans of rap and hip hop and talked about it to no end - Chan knew things but not as much as the other two. Jisung would mispronounce some words while talking too fast about how rap made his life better and Changbin would stutter about how only few heard him rap and said such good things about him. Then Jisung would gush about Changbin’s rapping and vice versa. Time flew by and they bid goodbye to Jisung who ran towards his bus while the two lovebirds walked home.

 

     “I really like him. Thanks for making me join.” Changbin broke the silence.

 

     “I’m glad. It’s all I wanted and I like him too.” Chan smiled making Changbin blush.

 

     “Really?” It was a murmur Chan almost didn’t catch.

 

     “Yeah! He’s a nice boy, though like Hyunjin he seems like he doesn’t know much about the world… I don’t know it makes me want to protect him you know?” Chan answered slightly embarrassed.

 

     “Oh.” Was all that came out of the short boy’s mouth.

 

     “What is it?” Chan prodded. Changbin shook his head. “C’mon tell me. You know it’s not good to keep things to yourself.” He was worried about his boyfriend, knowing Changbin hid many things to them.

 

     “Just… that I like Jisung…” Changbin started slowly. “Like… more than a friend…”

 

     “It’s okay, baby.” Chan wrapped an arm around Changbin, pulling him close and carresing his hair. “I like him too.”

 

     Chan made sure Changbin got home okay, pecked his cheek as a goodbye and walked back home.

 

     *

 

     They talked about it to Minho and Hyunjin. The two understood and agreed that they should let Jisung become a part of their small group. In fact they were happy about how Changbin felt towards the boy, seeing him be so happy and cheerful about something always made the others feel a squeeze in their chest. All the while Chan made sure to moderate everything accordingly. That day’s club time was invested in talking to Jisung about the other two and how their relationship was. Jisung didn’t show any signs of disgust, he was interested by it, admitting he had never heard of it. Changbin then proceeded to very, extremely slowly confess his feelings for the boy who jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Chan also explained he had the same feelings and he was also pulled into the hug. The oldest of the three talked to Jisung about how it would somewhat go and the boy accepted their invitation to their group very happy.

 

     Jisung was then the next day introduced to Minho and Hyunjin. Chan saw how Minho seemed suddenly interested in the young boy and Hyunjin was just happy about not being the only youngest one. So far their relationship had become a bit more complex as Jisung was just Chan and Changbin’s boyfriend.

 

     That day they and the next ones they got to know each other. Jisung and Hyunjin were happy to share the same class and would sit together every day. Minho would be extremely affectionate with Jisung who easily turned to it. To them Jisung was a beacon of light, of happiness and excitement. They saw this beautiful sunshine illuminate their life and were happy with it. It wasn’t until one day they got to know Jisung’s life better as the boy came in to school with a few bruises on his body When asked about it at first he’d lie saying he had fell but during the end of the school day and without having any club activities the boy finally confessed.

 

     “They beat me.” Jisung had said solemnly.

 

     “Who do? Tell me their names.” Minho came up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist while Changbin brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

 

     “My parents. They hate me so they beat me. What’s worse is that they found out I’m gay so they beat me even harder yesterday.” Jisung’s eyes watered, a few rebellious tears falling down his cheeks despite him trying to not let them fall. Chan walked up to him and hugged him tightly, the others joining as Jisung sobbed loudly against Chan’s chest.

 

     Chan made a decision then which was to get him out of that abusive house and that they did. With the help of Chan and Minho’s parents they let the police know that Jisung was being beaten and even tried their best to get proof so that in any case Jisung’s parents had no room left to try and make themselves innocent. Not that they could anyway and the police didn’t really do much but Jisung was out of the house and Chan’s mother became his legal guardian. That way Jisung lived with Chan and his mother, somewhere where he could be safe and himself. Minho’s parents also offered all help to help Jisung grow up well.

 

     *

 

     All of that had happened in the span of weeks and now they were all back to normal. An ordinary and happy school day with Jisung and Chan walking together for the first time to school, meeting up at the entrance with the rest of them as pecks on the cheek were handed out as a good morning. The rest of the day went by as normal, with Jisung and Hyunjin talking with each other more than paying attention to the teacher, Changbin having to deal with his class clowns, Minho dreaming up new dances moves and Chan making sure he never missed a word the teacher was saying.

 

     The day ended nicely and they all got to meet up before the exit of school to say their goodbyes before each went to their respective house. As Chan walked there he saw a small group of boys that seemed they weren’t up to any good but he easily dismissed them. Once they were all together and trying to stall more and more time to be together as always one of the boys threw a can at Chan’s head.

 

     Chan was happy during the recent years, forgetting Woojin - despite the boy becoming friendly again and that messing with his head - and meeting friends who became more than that. But then when it happened again, the can, he couldn’t help but feel agony wash over him. Except this time there was more anger than he remembered. The rest were all left with different expressions of sadness, horror and anger. Chan turned around to see them walking up to them, his own expression hardening and his shoulders rising up. The boy in the front, who was staring down Chan raised his fist up in the air and before Chan could do anything there was a flash of blurry colors and suddenly the boy was on the ground. Everyone was shocked as they saw none other than Woojin stand over the first male that had been threatening to punch Chan.

 

     “Don’t worry.” Woojin flashed a smile towards Chan was other boys came up and surrounded the gang that was about to torment them. It wasn't a fight fest, in fact they just stalled for time as teachers came following another boy and saw what was happening. The situation was explained but the teachers still put everyone -except Chan and his boyfriends- into detention.

 

     “Thank you.” Chan said before Woojin walked back to school to face detention.

 

     “No worries.” Woojin smiled softly to him and that smiled never erased from his face even as if he knew he was probably going to have to clean the boy’s bathrooms.


	6. Sixth Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much!!! This has a lot of kudos and hits already I can't believe it!! QAQ Also big thank you to everyone who has commented so far you're all amazing!!

     Woojin became a giant question mark for Chan. The older boy had changed to better, he talked to Chan more, helped him when he saw Chan troubled and even smiled at him whenever he saw him in the hallways. Chan’s heart would flutter and he’d hate it, so, so much. Woojin had hurt him, a lot, and left Chan a misery of a boy, left him fighting against himself and the rest of the world, even to the point he’d stopped talking to his own mother. But Woojin had become better, had defended him and the rest of his group when bullies had come their way, he stopped talking to his friends who saw Chan as a disgusting being. In fact Chan stopped seeing Woojin with anyone, the boy sat always alone at break, in some corner of the room but the boy would still smile when he crossed gazes with Chan, eyes crinkling in the most adorable way possible and Chan would scold himself in his head at the thought. His boyfriends who knew of what had happened with Woojin always reminded him to be cautious. Minho, being the one who met Chan after the incident and met the Chan that had given up on being himself, was the most against him talking to Woojin, telling him the boy wasn’t to be trusted and in fact sometimes Chan would catch him glaring at Woojin when the other boy wasn’t looking. Chan would try and calm Minho down which seemed to work better than he had expected, and even more so after Woojin defended them. Still he was wary of Woojin, making sure that he didn’t let the other boy ruin his life one more time.

 

     Chan was so sure that Woojin and himself, despite what his heart wanted, would be just friends or even less, acquaintances. But life had other plans. It was a Sunday afternoon when Chan took a stroll around the park his boyfriends and him would frequent, the same one he’d have dates with Woojin, though they would avoid the area where he had memories with the older boy. This time though Chan was walking through that area, memories flooding his mind as tears welled up in his eyes. Chan was still so in love with the boy but he had been pushing it so far back and had been so busy being in love with four other boys that those feelings had been covered up. Now that Woojin was being nice again Chan couldn’t stop his heart from speeding up at the thought of the older boy.

 

     He was so deep in his thoughts as he walked that he didn’t notice the figure by the spot he confessed to Woojin, the patch of flowers he had been admiring that day as he made up his mind to say the words or not was just as beautiful as they had been that day. Spring was approaching and so was the end of the school year. Chan looked up as that fateful day made its way into his head, replaying the scene as tears started to fall and roll down his cheeks. There he saw him, the boy who had captured his heart, broke it and now seemed to notice the cracks he had left behind after Chan managed to pick them all back up and put them in place. Woojin was looking off into the distance, a sad look on his face, the first one Chan thinks he had seen - though that one had been when Woojin had stopped talking to him. Chan silently approaches and then the two are in the same spot when Chan had confessed to Woojin. Chan not sure why he had walked there.

 

     “I’m so sorry.” He heard Woojin say with a trembling voice. “I am so, so sorry.” Woojin hiccups.

 

     “It’s okay. But you did hurt me a lot.” Chan looked down at his feet. The blazing sun hitting their backs.

 

     “Yeah…” Woojin trailed off, sniffing, at this point both were. “I messed up real bad. I’m not even sure how or why you’re standing next to me though I’m not complaining.” Woojin finally looked at Chan who looked up and met Woojin’s gaze, a sad smile drawn on the older boy’s lips.

 

     “I still love you.” Chan blurted out, unsure why.

 

     “W-what?” Woojin was confused. This was for sure the first time Chan had seen Woojin express so many emotions and be so vulnerable.

 

     “I’m still in love with you, but I’m wary of you, I’m scared you’ll hurt me again.” Chan looked down at their shadows as they grew taller and taller.

 

     “I won’t.” Woojin stated. “But I know that you won’t believe that.”

 

     “I do.” Chan immediately says after and looks at Woojin, eyes more sincere than the older boy has ever seen.

 

     “You won’t trust me like you did.” Woojin admitted.

 

     “I do.” Chan repeated.

 

     “You won’t love me like you did.”

 

     “I do.”

 

     “You won’t accept me. You won’t want me to be by your side. You won’t believe that I’ve changed. You won’t want me to be your boyfriend again because you don’t want to hurt again.” Woojin cried silently but his words were stable, as if he thought this through and admitted that Chan would never want anything to do with him again.

 

     “I do.” Came out of Chan’s lips, and at this Woojin finally sobbed, head falling against Chan’s chest as the shorter boy wrapped his arms around him and caressed his hair. “I don’t wanna hurt again but I have people who support me and help me, I believe in myself and I am stronger than I’ve ever been so I know I won’t fall again, no one will hurt me again. But I also believe people can change and I give second opportunities.”

 

     Woojin lifts his head as he listens to Chan’s speech. The two stare at each other for a few minutes before Chan hugs Woojin tightly, the older wrapping his arms around the shorter boy. They stay like that for a few minutes.

 

     “We won’t be able to date so easily.” Chan starts to explain. “We’ll have to talk and see if my other partners are comfortable with it… And I’m not sure they will when they know what happened between us.”

 

     “Oh… That’s okay, I’ll wait for as long as I have to. Even if it’s an eternity.” Woojin smiles sadly at him, pulling strings in Chan’s heart. The two share a small smile and walk away to each’s respective houses.

 

     *

 

     Monday comes and Chan has at least explained to his mother what had happened at the park, she, of course, gave him the best advice as always. Still Chan was nervous as he got ready with Jisung for their day at school. The end of the year was coming closer and with it came a extremely clingy and lazy Jisung in the mornings and an anxious hyperactive one in the rest of the day. Not that Chan is complaining, he loves the boy so much he’d give him the world. Jisung is talking again about how close they are to finishing this year and how Hyunjin and him would be Freshmen. That makes Chan realize he’d be a senior in a bit and that Woojin would be graduating this year, meaning that he won’t be able to see the boy anymore at school. The thought makes Chan dizzy, so many years have passed, so much time and now he realizes it, though there were things that he wished went another way he ponders if that would’ve made it so that he met all these wonderful people he calls boyfriends. Pulling away from the multiverse theory he thinks back to the fact that Woojin will be graduating soon so Chan makes sure to gather up all his courage to have a reunion with his boyfriends.

 

     Jisung and him walk all the way to the entrance and there they wait for the others to come, small chit chat is had before the bell rings, pecking each other’s cheeks and hugging - Minho and Hyunjin already dating Jisung too. As class time is announced Chan tells them to come as soon as possible to their usual spot at break time, making sure to emphasize how important it is that they talk. This makes the others worry but before Minho tries to ask him what’s going on Chan rushes to his class, in the way there seeing Woojin who smiles at him and Chan finally smiles back.

 

     *

 

     It’s finally break time and Chan is biting his lip as he waits for the others to come at the table they usually hang out. It’s outside the cafeteria, it’s a quiet place where there’s half sun and half shadow and at the time they’re in a nice breeze passes by. Soon they’re all there and after they’ve all given each other their usual ‘hello’ peck on the cheek Chan starts talking.

 

     “So yesterday I met Woojin.”

 

     Chan is met with silence despite thinking that they’d all be against this or even yell at him for talking to the other boy. Instead his met with worried looks that tell him that they’re more scared for what’s about to come than he is for what he’s about to say.

 

     “And we talked. It was nice actually. He’s changed for the better.” Chan looks at each one of them and then looks down. “And well…” Chan’s chin wobbles as tears start to gather up in his eyes.

 

     “What is it babe?” Minho, being the second oldest, always the one to stabilize Chan, asks. Jisun, sat next to him, places a hand on top of Chan’s, Hyunjin and Changbin each put a hand on his shoulder, and finally when Chan looks back up at Minho, the boy is looking at him softly.

 

     “He…” Chan can sense how they all tense up. “He still loves me.” Chan smiles, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. He sees them all sigh of relief and smile at how bright and happy Chan’s smile is. “I still love you all by the way, like, so, so much but I also still love him? And he loves me? And my heart feels like it’s about to explode?” Chan hiccups and laughs between the words and they all smile fondly at him.

 

     “Hey, that’s okay hyung. It’s good that you feel so happy!” Hyunjin exclaims hugging him sideways.

 

     “Yeah just don’t explode.” Minho jokes a small smile playing on his lips.

 

     “I wanted to tell you guys to see if you’d be okay with me dating him too?” Chan asks hopefully, looking into each of the boys’ eyes.

 

     “Of course hyung!” Jisung jumps up.

 

     “Yeah, just like Jisung just dated you and me.” Changbin starts. “He’d date you and that’s totally cool. With me at least.”

 

     “Me too!”

 

     “Same.”

 

     “Minho?” Chan looks at the boy in question as he calls his name. The other boy looks very serious, pensive. Then a small smile draws on his lips.

 

     “If you’re happy then I’m happy. And if that means to let Woojin join our group and date you that’s okay with me.” Minho states and Chan feels all giddy inside. “But! If he so much as hurts you a little I’ll be damned-”

 

     “Okay, okay!” Chan cuts him off before he can say anything that scares the younger students passing by their table. They all laugh but Minho gives him a look that only Chan can read that says ‘I meant it’. Chan feels comfortable knowing that he’s got so many people supporting him and helping him that he knows that dating Woojin he’d be safe. Even if the older boy dares hurt him he’d have back up cheering him up and making sure his heart doesn’t break again.

 

     That same day, after school has ended Chan waits for Woojin in front of his class. The boy exits and when he’s surprised when he sees Chan.

 

     “What are you doing here?” He asks softly.

 

     “Waiting for you.” Chan smiles making Woojin blush. “I have something to tell you. I need to say it right now.”

 

     “Go on then!” Woojin smiles kindly.

 

     “We can date!” Chan exclaims, arms open to hug the other boy who easily walks into his embrace. “You’ll be able to hang out with us!”

 

     “Are they cool with that then?” Woojin asks worriedly.

 

     “Of course,” Chan pulls away a little and smiles at him, Woojin smiles back “love.”

 

     Woojin blushes furiously at the nickname and smiles from ear to ear. Chan feels extremely happy and proceeds to hold his hand and lead him towards the exit where the rest are waiting. When they see the two hand in hand they cheer. Chan pecks each of their cheeks as they do the same to him, their usual ritual of welcoming. Woojin, knowing that the others know what happened before between the two apologizes to them for what he did to Chan, feeling that he owes them that. The others accept it just fine and welcome him warmly to their group.

 

*

 

     The end of the school year comes, Woojin graduates, they all have a small party and congratulate him. Summer then comes and with it plenty of dates. They usually hang out together in the park or go shopping at the mall. One of the dates they have Woojin and Chan decide to bring them to the skating rink they had their first date in. Before announcing it - because each would come up with a plan for that date - they looked at each other and smiled. Going there Woojin told them how Chan didn’t know how to skate and had to teach him. Though they way he told the story was more endearing than making fun of him. As Chan look at the oldest he caught his adoring gaze on him. The rest of the boys awed. They found on that date who was good at skating and who wasn’t. Hyunjin ad already skated before so he was pretty good at it, for the other three it was the first time but while Minho immediately got the hang of it, Changbin and Jisung needed a little help. Hyunjin and Woojin offered a hand and taught them how to skate very slowly. As Hyunjin was laughing at Changbin who had fallen on his rear, Jisung was holding Woojin tightly by his shirt and blushed furiously as the older wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, making sure he didn't fall like Changbin did. Minho skated to Chan as he looked at the scene, a smile on his lips.

 

     “You know, I’m warming up to him.” Minho pointed with his head to Woojin, Chan smiled at the words. He was the happiest at that moment, feeling like nothing could go wrong, as he felt Minho’s arms wrap around him. His boyfriends were there for him, to help him, to support him and his first love wasn’t fake after all. Chan felt like he could rule the world if he wanted to and honestly he felt like he was already the king when being with them.

 

     And nothing did go wrong. Summer flew by as if it were nothing, a mere passage of time and each day was spent in harmony. Having gone to almost all places near their houses, having spent time together each passing second. And most of all, or at least what counted for Chan the most, was how the others warmed up to Woojin. He felt this thought strongly as he looked at Jisung hugging said boy tightly, Changbin complained to the youngest, saying he owned the ‘teddy bear’, of course referring to Woojin. Sometimes even he could see Hyunjin and Woojin cuddle. And last but not least Minho confessed to him, one time when they were alone in the midst of it all, that he found Woojin rather attractive. At the end of the summer they all ended up together, without separate boyfriends. The time they confessed to Woojin and offered him the option to date not only Chan but the rest of them left the oldest with a mouth wide open. Chan still laughs at that memory, seeing the usually confident and strong boy turn into a mess when faced with confessions. Woojin accepted more than happy, face turned red. Now that he thinks about it, as Chan is preparing his backpack for tomorrow’s first school day as a senior, he wonders how the oldest is going to be seeing them now that he’s starting College. Said boy had just said to not worry about it but of course Chan being Chan he’s worrying about it. 

 

     Jisung next to him is chatting about how nice it’s going to be and how he wishes they would’ve gotten together earlier to have more fun at school, mostly to see Woojin more. Suddenly a nice night breeze comes in through the window, making them both shiver, Jisung ‘wows’ at it and looks towards the window, Chan walks up to it and stares at the starry dark sky. Relief washes over him as he thinks of his life and suddenly he’s filled with energy to start tomorrow’s school day.

 

     *

 

     The bell rings, and with it each scramble to their class, Woojin already left them a message of good luck in their group chat. While Chan is walking down the hallways to his class he bumps into a boy slightly taller than him. What stands out the most in him, as Chan takes a good luck at the boy’s face, is his freckles. One look at him and he’s able to tell the boy is younger, baby fat clinging to his face but then Chan has to do a double take.

 

     “Sorry… do you know where this classroom is?” The boy’s voice is so extremely deep which contrast his young looking face. Chan takes a moment to look at where the boy is pointing and nods his head.

 

     “I’ll lead you to it.” Chan smiles still a little bit struck by the boy’s general appearance. They walk in silence for a little bit until Chan decides to break it with some small talk. With it he’s able to gather that the boy is in the same grade as Jisung and Hyunjin, his name is Felix, he’s australian - which makes Chan stop in his tracks and high fives the boy as he explains he’s also australian -, and that he’s just moved here so he’s new at school. Chan describes to him what Jisung and Hyunjin look like, explaining that he’s in the same grade that he is, and that they’ll help him until they meet again. When they reach there the two boys he was talking about spot him, Chan quickly introduces them before rushing to his class, hoping that they’ll get along well as Felix seemed like a nice enough boy.

 

     At break time Jisung and Hyunjin bring him with them, each with an arm wrapped around Felix. Everyone welcomes him warmly and before anyone can say anything Jisung tells them, wide eyed, that Felix comes from a polyamorous family. Felix, a bit flustered, admits that yes, he has two moms and a dad. This makes explaining their relationship much easier so Felix doesn’t misunderstand some of their actions. As they eat their food and chat about anything and everything - and Hyunjin and Minho try to convince Felix, who also loves dancing, to try out for their dance club - Chan catches Changbin staring at the freckled boy fondly. Chan elbows him and smirks, in turn Changbin glares at him.

 

     “Say something to him.” Chan points out Changin’s usual quietness when confronted with someone new.

 

     “No. And keep your voice low or the attention will go to me.” Changbin mutters, his gaze still lingering on Felix. 

 

     Chan shrugs and looks at them all interacting and thinks that maybe they all feel in their chest what he feels towards this personification of sunshine: love.

 

     *

 

     And they definitely do, as he looks at each boy’s faces, having been told that they all feel some kind of attraction towards the freckled boy. Of course they turn to him, deciding he’s like the leader of the small group that they are, so that he makes a decision. Chan has it already in mind though, having seen the fond looks they shot at Felix - mainly from Changbin who still stayed quiet - and he himself has developed of course another crush on the boy. So Chan, following the advice his mother gave him, he decides to follow his heart and mind. Deciding it’s best to confess their feelings to him but in a cautious manner.

 

     They decide to do it that same day, having it been weeks since they hang out with Felix at the park they decide to do it there. Chan thinks it’s become almost like some kind of like a second home, a safe place, somewhere where Chan daydreams that if they could and got married it’d be here. Nevertheless the daydreaming gets pushed aside as the hour for their confession keeps on getting closer, and with it the arrival of Felix. Chan starts to sweat. He has some kind of desire to protect the younger boy, from everything, the same feeling he has with everyone else, the same feeling that he first got so strong with Jisung. But now, with knowing Felix is australian, him being the youngest now and being so new at everything and simply so pure and innocent, Chan feels it’s his duty he never faces the horrors of the world.

 

     Felix arrives and with it comes a raise in heartbeats and sweating. Changbin is at Chan’s side and he can feel the shorter boy tremble with nervousness. They welcome him as always but it is as if somehow Felix knew something was happening. He asks, worriedly, if something is wrong. They all brush it off and each chance glances at Chan, waiting for him to speak, but Felix mistakes it by them looking at Changbin, so he walks up to the boy who stares at him paralyzed and hugs him.

 

     “What’s wrong Changbin hyung?” Felix asks with a serious voice. “Please tell me what it is. Tell me what’s wrong. Trust me hyung.”

 

     Chan can see tears well up in Changbin’s eyes as his cheeks turn red and then the boy is sobbing uncontrollably, hugging Felix tightly, gripping the back of his shirt as he buries his faces on the freckled boy’s neck. Felix is surprised but mostly hurt and worried. He looks at Chan - apparently having also decided he’s some kind of leader - hoping that he’d have the answer. Chan is about to speak, not entirely sure why Changbin is crying but having a pretty decent guess.

 

     “I love you.” They hear Changbin’s trembling voice muffled by Felix’s shirt. “I love you so so much.”

 

     Felix stays paralyzed unsure of what to do and looks wide eyed at everyone else and becomes even more confused at their fond smiles.

 

     “I love you to hyung, but-”

 

     “No, dummy!” Changbin pulls away and rubs at his eyes. “In like a love-love way! A romantic way!”

 

     Felix is left with his mouth hanging open and looks at everybody else with concern but mostly stares at Chan as if saying ‘is this okay?’.

 

     “It’s okay Felix, you’re an amazing person! We’d let you date Changbin.” Chan starts, leaving Felix happy then confused and sad. “If it wasn’t because we’re all in love with you too.”

 

     The freckled boy’s eyes widen even more, his mouth hangs open and then very suddenly he jumps in the air with a small and soft ‘yay. He goes on to explain he had developed feelings for Changbin at first, thinking he was very cool - which Changbin doubts out loud that he thinks that anymore and Felix convinces him that he does - but then he slowly fall in love with each of them but didn’t know and was too scared to approach them with the subject, feeling slightly saddened and intimidated at how long they knew and dated each other. Minho comforted him in that regard. Jisung quickly went over and hugged him.

 

     “I am so happy!” Jisung yelled. “I love you, I love you, I love you…” He kept murmuring at Felix as he nuzzled the boy’s neck to which he giggled.

 

     Then they heard sniffles and look to Hyunjin who had been crying silently the whole time.

 

     “What’s wrong baby?” Minho embraced him.

 

     “This is all just so cute and happy.” The tallest sobbed and leaned in to Minho’s warmth.

 

     With Woojin’s arm wrapped around Chan’s waist they looked on with fondness at the other boys who formed part of their life. Chan turned to admire Woojin too and he thought to himself that he never had felt so happy in his life.


End file.
